A Movie Drinking Game for Swordfish
- John Travolta gives us some food-for-thought. Who’s the terrorist now? Eh, probably still John.
- Those damn cops just can’t seem to pull their act together. Look guys, when John Travolta straps bombs and ball bearings to hostages, gives you a speech about Dog Day Afternoon over afternoon tea, and then asks you for a bus, YOU GET HIM A BUS. Besides, you know he’s going to attach that bus to a helicopter and fly it around downtown, threading buildings with it and we ALL want to see that.
- You see that Hackers have got it hard. I mean, first you’re busted by the cops at the airport because you forgot to hide your real passport, then you try to escape by running directly into a group of cops, then you get a bullet in your brain? Wait a second -- that’s just b/c you’re TERRIBLE at making decisions. Well, what about deciding to fly 1,000 miles to go on an interview only to be held at gunpoint and have everyone watch a girl give you a blowjob? Wait a second! THOSE ARE STILL BAD DECISIONS. You hackers bring it on yourselves.
- Halle Berry is acting, perhaps, a bit too sexual for the workplace. If only all of our co-workers would go shirtless. Wait, scratch that -- I’m an engineer and that’s a terrible idea.
- Someone gets blasted with an insult. Some say “You get more flies with honey.” Hackers say “Insult them until they do it and if that fails, get naked, half-naked, grab their crotch, or shoot them.” Man, I am obviously in the wrong profession here.
- Hugh Jackman’s ex-wife is the worst mother to their small child. Some women can pull off the day-to-day hassles of raising a kid, being an alcoholic porn star, and marrying a porn king. Not Hugh’s wife, though. If she’d just let Hugh help out around the house, everything would be so much easier! For one thing, that poor kid would stop dressing like Blossom.
- You hear some CYBER-TALK.
- Hugh gives you the ole “Hack n’ Clap.” It’s kind of like the “Bend n’ Snap” except instead of getting men’s attention, it helps you re-route bank accounts and break into Department of Defense secret files.
- We see the MULTI-SCREEN HACK PALACE. It’s not just a bunch of monitors, you know. It’s a lifestyle.
- We take a trip through the hacker’s eye via HACK-I-MATION. Who knew hacking was so animated? Well, I guess Zero Cool knows.
- WATERFALL FOR THE HARD FALL! Hugh and Don take a minute-long tumble and YOU need to support them through it.
- Finish your beer for topless Halle! I mean, you KNEW this was going to be a rule, right?
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