A Movie Drinking Game for Staying Alive
- A dancing montage seduces you into thinking, “You know what? Fuck it. I could TOTALLY be a dancer!” No, no you can’t. Do you SEE how ripped John Travolta is? The first thing you’d have to do is give up beer, and we both know that’s not going to happen.
- A dancer aims his or her icy rage gaze at someone. Much like cats, behind every dancer’s eyes is a bitch fit just waiting to happen. Also like cats, they are very flexible and scratch when cornered.
- You see a male dancer’s outfit that makes sure to reveal the nipples. Take notice, guys! Exposing your nipples is a subtle, tasteful way of letting the ladies know “I’m available.”
- A lesser-known dance move known as the “butt shimmy” (a.k.a. “butt wiggle” a.k.a. "ham hustle") is demonstrated. Use with caution: when performed in combination with an icy rage gaze, this powerful unisex dance move can cause an audience member’s head to explode.
- You see Tony’s PACKAGE. It was the early 80’s -- you wore your shirts open and your dress slacks TIGHT.
- That British chick shows off her signature move: the right leg kick. Always the right leg! Never the left! Maybe it was the editing, maybe it was a childhood accident, but one thing we know for sure is that she’s definitely not an ambi-kicker.
- A chick burns Tony bad with a soul-crushing diss. But don't feel too bad for Tony. He gets her back in the end by doing a random dance solo in the middle of the Satan's Alley production and then escaping on an elevated glitter-platform. Classic comeback!
- Tony finishes out the love triangle by pulling a bang ‘n bolt (a.k.a. hittin’ & quittin’) on poor Jackie. How dare you, Tony? She played Penny in Dirty Dancing. NOBODY puts Penny in a corner. Nobody!! [runs off crying]
- TAKE A SHOT when you see Sylvester Stallone’s brief but sensual cameo in the movie. Trust us, with an amazing short-sleeved bushy fur jacket like his, you can’t miss him. (And no, we aren’t referring to his chest hair. It’s an actual jacket.)
- Take a swig whenever Tony asks if he has any messages.
- FINISH YER BEER when all you wanna do is... STRUT.
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