A Movie Drinking Game for Center Stage
- A dancer gets SASSY. You’d be sassy too if you had to wear medieval torture devices for shoes AND you had a wedgie all day. I get sassy just thinking about it!
- Dancers are moving in unison. You’d think this would be exclusive to the stage, but dancers’ love of perfectly symmetrical movement, like their love of refusing dessert, cannot be contained to performances alone.
- Jody wants a piece of Cooper pie. What is that saying about girls always liking the wrong guy? Oh yeah, if he drives a motorcycle and can do seven twirls in a row, HE’S TROUBLE. You can’t take that one home to momma. Because he will try to sleep with your mother for funding.
- Dancers get out on the town and have some fun! There’s nothing better than cutting loose and bowling, eating some pizza, slamming some ice cream, and then puking it all up. No? Well, to each his own.
- Someone twirls! We won’t be the drink police and make you drink every single time someone twirls, but we hope you agree that two, three, five, or fifteen twirls in a row deserve some respect.
- Jody gets corrected. OK, so she doesn’t have great feet. And she doesn’t have the ideal body type. And her turnout “sucks.” But have you seen her pelvic thrusts??
- You witness mother meddling. You see, children are like clay, because clay doesn’t need to eat, and neither does your daughter.
- Someone has food issues. Look, an eating disorder is not a laughing matter. It’s something that you have to work at, every day, until you get it right.
- Take a swig in reverence -- and fear -- to the complete psychopath who came up with ballet shoes. We can put a woman on the moon, stave off menopause, and even turn a woman into a man, but we STILL can’t figure out how to make shoes that don’t destroy your feet like a flesh-eating virus??
- Drink (or eat chips) whenever you notice an eerie parallel to Showgirls. (I have two words: THRUST IT!!)
- FINISH YOUR BEER when you witness the 2.5-second costume change (complete with cornrows!) in Cooper’s final production.
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