You see a black panther! OK, so we won’t make you chug every minute a cutie is on-screen, but surely you should take a swig if you see -- and I’m just spitballing here -- a bunch of panthers all hanging out in a giant tree and listening to David Bowie.
A panther growls. Science says that when cats growl at you, it’s because they’re upset, but my grandma says it’s because they’re one of Satan’s children.
There’s a cat attack! Cattacks can happen anywhere. Anybody who’s ever closed the bathroom door knows that won’t keep your feet safe from a cat.
A human seduces another human, a cat seduces a human, or a human seduces a cat. You know, it sounds a lot weirder when I write it out... but the David Bowie soundtrack just makes things sexy.
Nastassja Kinski follows her animal instincts/instructions from the wardrobe department and forgoes a bra! Does the “no bra” rule apply if she’s entirely nude and/or a panther? Only you can determine your fate.
Things get icky. Cat People taught us that cats are an incestuous race, but trust me, nothing’s worse than hamsters. They have ZERO shame. But I guess Hamster People isn’t as catchy.
A cat/person performs an impressive acrobatic feat. Fun fact: director Paul Schrader got the human actors to perform all the stunts by tricking them with a laser pen.
A human does something that a cat would normally do. For example, crouching, chasing down prey, or walking around nude outside.
Bonus Drinks
FINISH YOUR BEER for loss of arm! We won’t tell you who loses an arm, but let’s just say he’s a spokesman for Cinco-Fone.
I have in my notes that “cat wears shoes.” But I honestly don’t remember this. I must have blacked out at some point? But yeah, take a shot if a cat wears shoes.
In this trailer we see: incest, cat acting, human acting like cat acting, and the David Bowie song from Inglourious Basterds. All this and Ed Begley Jr.!