Drink whenever:

1. Someone gets a rude awakening. For example, banging out your girlfriend in the woods and then getting run over by a 50-ft-tall construction vehicle.

2. A character learns something new. The continuing education at Jake’s workplace is waaaay cooler than mine. Instead of watching a 30-slide PowerPoint presentation, he gets to ride a giant toruk and shoot arrows into the hearts of his enemies.

3. The evil corporation is at odds with nature. I think people would be a lot better about recycling if they knew that a 15-ton titanothere was going to squish them into jelly if they didn’t.

4. A character makes tsaheylu, a.k.a. THE BOND. If you’ve never seen this movie before and don’t know what the bond is, don’t worry, it’s pretty obvious. If you have seen this movie, stop trying to link your braid with your cat’s tail. It doesn’t work (trust me).

5. A character explores the psychadelic forest! Science tells us that the plants and flowers on Pandora don’t actually glow, it’s just that Neytiri slipped Jake some PCP at the beginning of the movie. I didn’t know you liked to get wet, Jake.

6. One of the military dudes starts using some soldierly slang. Try using one of these phrases without the combat experience to back it up and you’ll end up looking like a shave-tail Looie.